NaNo Day 15 - Cut out the emo

Well. I read my excerpt from yesterday about introducing a new character named "Isaac." Now I wrote this scene as I was "pantsing" instead of checking my notes and it came out way too emo. Like, I cringe when reading how everyone is basically forcing Shiri into marriage and Jason starts to cry. 
Really?
Sometimes the pressure of meeting my word count produces some strange results. Anyhoo, I went back to check my notes about the scene with a fresh set of eyes. This is what I actually wrote down about Isaac: 

"He enters the story with a really embarrassing and failed attempt at proposing to Shiri"

I turned a what-coulda-been hilarious scene into a teenage drama! But instead of giving in to the urge to re-write the whole thing and lose my precious word-count, I used the strikeout technique for the first time. I slashed it!

Therefore I can also say that I successfully scene-skipped for the first time. I kept my eyes on the prize and simply continued writing my story WHILE PRETENDING that the proposal was a comical flop. And guess what? I met my daily writing goal at 1:45pm:  I broke  25,000 words  baby!!!!

EXCERPT

I originally wanted to re-write the proposal scene as something really funny for my excerpt. It would be cool to see those scenes side-by-side, so maybe I'll do that on a different day. For now, I'll put something right after the proposal as a hint of what happens next.

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Shiri shut her bedroom door and they both busted out laughing. She grabbed her sides as each laugh made her legs wobble. Seeing Isaac trip on his proposal robe while accidentally shoving flowers up his nose was awesome!

“I can still see the look on his face when he flipped upside down!” Jason wheezed.

“Yeah I thought he was gonna cry!”

They both wobbled their way to her bed and sat on the patchwork quilt that covered it. A few giggles later and breathing became easier. “But you,” Jason pointed at his sister, “were amazing! You actually held your ground and rejected him in front of everyone! Like, that’s never even been done before.”

Shiri sat back on her elbows with a look of satisfaction. “Actually it has. I did some research by checking out the family records in the school library after class last year. It turns out it’s only happened 3 times over the last 50 years."

                “You’re such a rule-breaker!” Jason joked with her. “But that’s what I like about you, you know? You aren’t afraid to challenge our traditions and you’re taking a risk for your own happiness. I never knew anyone that went through a proposal before, but now that I’m on this end of things…I think I can understand how you feel now.”

                “Life shouldn’t be forced on anyone,” she said. Her thoughtful expression contained more wisdom than he noticed before. Even so, her curved eyes held plenty of secrets when she smiled.

 Looking toward her pillow, she reached underneath it and pulled out a clunky, yet familiar gadget. “Remember this?” she asked, wagging it in front of him.

“Hey you still have that? That flashlight should be a piece of junk by now.”

“It’s not a piece of junk. It was the first present you ever gave me, and it still works fine,” she protested. “Besides, we might need it tonight.”

“Really? What’s your plan this time, rule-breaker?”

“Escape,” she grinned.

Shiri gracefully lunged like a ninja onto the wooden floor. Looking quickly left and right, she tucked her legs into her chest and rolled on the ground a couple times, landing directly in front of her clothes closet. She popped back up and playfully looked over her shoulder. Finding her travel bag at the bottom of the closet, she gave a loud battle cry and threw it crazily at Jason’s face, which made him start laughing all over again.

                “What in the world are you doing?” he giggled.

                “I told you. We are going to get out of here!”

                “Oh so it’s we now, is it?

                “Of course. I’ve already decided you’re coming with me,” she winked.

Jason chuckled, but then paid attention to what she was doing. Shiri picked up a couple t-shirts from her closet and picked through a pile of socks. For a moment she stopped to feel the hem of a light blue cotton dress hanging in her closet.  Looking away, she instead grabbed a pair of faded jeans. She walked over to Jason with her arms full of clothes, and dropped it on the bed next to the overnight bag. He looked up at her. “You’re serious aren’t you?”

                “I need more underwear.”

Shiri walked over to another set of drawers and started to pick through her lingerie. Covering his eyes, Jason continue to reason with his sister. “If you mean ‘get out’ as in ‘leave the village,’ I don’t think that’s going to solve anything. As soon as we come back, Isaac will just try to claim you all over again.”

                “That’s why I don’t intend on coming back.”

A familiar pit churned in his stomach and his breath slowed down. Maybe he didn't hear her right.                     “What do you mean?” 

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