NaNo Day 14 - The two week divide

I really can't believe that I've been writing for two whole weeks now on the same story. I've surprised myself by being committed and fighting against the procrastination monster that eats all my time.

And its so AWESOME that I actually sat down to write all day. I just barely made par with my wordcount today, coming in at  23,342 words!  That's almost double from my daily word count!

It's quite funny how this week has just flown by too: I had the most free time since the year started and yet I've been MORE busy. I've had days where I literally "forced" myself to write and days where inspiration flowed. There have been hand written notes and typed storylines from my iPad. I've tried to write when music is blasting and when it's silent.

And I edited a lot, which is what I mostly did today:

• I added parts about the forest being dangerous! VERY important story point I didn't mention.
• Also described why maps are important to my world :P
• Did an extra paragraph of "fantasy foreshadowing" in chapter 4
• Techno-babbled my way through some star trek explanation of imaginary science. Yeah. 

EXCERPT

Remember how I had forgotten one of my other characters? Well my writing buddy said I can still put him in late in the game (Chapter 7) with a grand entrance. I hope I made it grand enough, but I'll let you be the judge of that.

And if this is another brick, I apologize! I'll karate-chop it tomorrow. 

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Shiri kept talking about the new trip they had planned. She asked to see the maps many times over the last three days, studying the 3D projection in the secrecy of their bunk room. She used the paper she had left to sketch out the possible villages to visit along the way to the lab. She measured out the miles and travel time it would take leaving directly from their hometown.

It was strange how Shawn fumbled over his words when Shiri asked him what type of vehicles they would be taking or if they should ask extra crewmen to come along. Only Jason seemed to notice his reluctance to answer; he was hiding something.

The caravan finally landed on the outskirts of [..Eden..], their hometown. It was a grand city among sloping hills and bordered by great white walls of stone. It was also the only human settlement in the region with a working power plant. That’s what made trade with the surrounding villages so profitable, as it was an easy business to refill and redistribute energy cells in exchange for food.

A curious crowd of people were waiting for the crew as they went through the docking procedure. A light beat of drums and the strumming of guitars filled the evening air. Two rows of men stood one after another, each with a young girl on their arm. The girls wore brightly patterned scarfs around their necks and clean-pressed dresses. The men stood clad in long dress robes made of red linen and gold tassel trim. Isaac stood in the center, the brilliant white of his tunic contrasting with his dark skin. He held a basket of freshly-cut long flowers, and he looked nervous.

This was a proposal ceremony.  All Jason heard was sharp gasp and the clashing sound of boots on metal steps. When he turned around, his sister was nowhere to be seen.  But he didn’t have time to comfort her as cheers erupted from the crewman standing on the deck. The cheers and drums were drowned out by a different sound beating in his ears. Jason glared at his uncle, unable to control his fists from shaking.

                “You knew about this, didn’t you? Why didn’t you say anything sooner?!”

For a moment his uncle looked conflicted, but then straightened his shoulders. He matched Jason’s glare and blatantly raised his arm into the air. He matched the hollering of his men and turned his attention toward Isaac, his waiting son.

Traitor! Jason’s mind screamed into his ears. The men on deck were now jumping with the beat of the drums, one close by hooking an arm with Jason and dragging him into a horrid dance of celebration. He fought against them, but the crewman mistook his energy for excitement. Shiri’s birthday was still two days away. He was supposed to have two more days to help her escape this!

The boarding ramp lowered onto the ground and everyone was in an uproar. Jason was corralled down the steps and into a dancing line that circled around Isaac’s entourage. He felt the urge to spit on his cousin’s feet as he was dragged past him.

Then the chanting started. “Bring out the chosen, bring out the chosen!” the townsfolk cried in union with the beat of the drums. Only Shawn stood atop the freighter steps and with a nod, he went below deck. Even above the shouts, Jason could hear his sister’s muffled sobs as she was forced onto the deck. Uncle Shawn held her fast by the elbow, eliminating her chance to run.

Isaac stepped forward and the brightly dressed couples followed him. Jason could only watch in anger as they paraded up the steps to the freighter and circled around Shawn with his prey. The young girls took the flowers from the Isaac’s basket and forced them into Shiri’s fist. They filed behind her and the men circled behind Isaac. He dropped to one knee.

                “Through the position and rights of official Chaperone, I, Isaac Bay, declare my proposal to Shiri, my chosen. I defend my early declaration by claiming law twenty-six of the Human Life Act. Due to the need for extended population, I ask this group of witnesses to approve my request on this day.”

                The villagers cheered again, “We approve! We approve!”

Isaac stood triumphantly and took Shiri’s hands, pulling her close. Fight him, Jason’s thoughts pleaded. Their eyes met, but her fire was gone. His sister was numbed into submission. The young girls took off their scarves and weaved them around the couples hands and arms as a symbol of permanent connection. Isaac steered Shiri toward the crowd and spoke with a deep voice, “Then it is settled! Let the wedding preparations begin!”

The sounds from the people were deafening and Jason was jostled in the swarming crowd. He fought hard to get back to the freighter, somehow reasoning with himself that he could still save his sister. He was elbowed in the face and thrown to the ground. Flower petals fell into his hair and the old body odor from the townsfolk filled his nostrils.

Jason could see his parents in the crowd too. Just their presence made the whole charade feel like a betrayal. He couldn’t fight his way to the front, but finally he ducked out the back of the mass of people. He couldn’t go back to the house in this state. He needed to be alone and gather supplies for his plan. Shiri wanted to leave this place and search for her birth family? That sounded dandy to him. It just felt like his family just betrayed him anyway.

He punched the metal door of his office as it slugged open. He kicked the wall and yelled, throwing over his dirty work stool. The first tear ran down his cheek and he just slid to the floor. What on earth was wrong with him? This reaction scared him to death 

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